中文双字：去年，寡人处于英国。一个中国同学前往店铺，想要购买母鸡用于炖汤，不知单词(hen)，只能表示想要(chicken)。店主出示一个公鸡。同学摇头，说道：“寡人不要这个，寡人想要他的老婆。” 　　英文直译：Last year, I in Britain. A china classmate go to grocery, want to buy hen to make soup, not know word (hen), only can express want (chicken). Grocer show a rooster. Classmate shake head, say:"I not want this, I want his wife."

A loop of 离局思维法🔐 Ares said: "you asked me to hang up a brand that marks '总裁办公室' on the president office, but I couldn't find any room marked with 'president office'. " Hephaestus said, "because this brand is in your hand, so you can't find a room with this brand by your eyes. You should use mouth & ears to ask & judge first ." 🐲Oh, I see! Ares said, "just as 唐僧 took four disciples to journey to the West, the real knowledge is not in the scripture, but in the 81 difficulties. If we can aware that the owner (nature) is in our hands,

A joke of 奥运女排🐉 A child asked, "in Japanese volleyball movies & memories, there is an ultimate skill called 离心独劈. How to use it in talk shows?" His daddy answered："renunciation出离心 in talk shows, it means that you have a similar but different (higher) interest from the audience, which makes the audience like to listen. Lightning降服, it means to quickly explain the truth from a new cognitive apex at the critical moment. " 🏅Oh, I understand! The child said, "🏐the essence of games is not the victory or defeat, but the expansion of vi

A child asked, "we often say '大细超' in Cantonese. What does it mean?" Daddy answered, "people are used to treating guests unfairly according to their status. Just like 狗眼看人低, dogs regards people as a dog and treat people like dogs. These two habits are the source of jokes." 🌱 Oh, I see. The child said, "🎶 just like this article, by describing a principle in two languages (by colliding two value systems), outsiders can see the dimension gap". The world originated from the collision of spatiotemporal continuum with different densities. #英语

A child asked, "in Chinese talk shows, there is a technique called 揶揄. What does it mean? " Daddy answered, "just as you asked me 'can I play games for a moment?' I said 'yes, but only for a moment. Well, now the moment has passed. Don't play any more'. You cried ' this mo…ment… must read as long as an hour'". This is a kind of 揶揄. 💥Oh, I get it! The child replied, " 🤺 it's to break a common concept by a higher dimensional sword." By studying the principle of this suddenly confused, we can understand the principle of epiphany. #英语笑话##孩

Party B said, "when will the money, the project remuneration be paid?" Party A answered: "our company is too big ,the financial process is very long. have the patience with it." 💡 I know, Party B replied: "🥊the reason for the slow process is that the treasurer is not on duty. The reason for not on duty is that she is pregnant. The reason for (promiscuity) pregnancy is that the company is too big. So next time I dare not serve a "too big" company!" #英语##笑话##神话#

A child asked, "how to interpret dreams scientifically?" His father replied, "when the fragmentary information of the day is summed up at rest (approaches to energe-zero), it is observed as a dream. Understanding the process of dissipation and aggregation can inspire us to create "converter" (match divergence of the day) “. 💡 Oh, I see. The child rejoiced: "cartoonists and artists created the face balloons in the sky of Tokyo based on a dream in their childhood, but they caused aesthetic conflicts. We should show the whole story`s Gestalt comprehensively, but

A child asked, "how to tell a joke in one sentence?" Dady answered, "you are the most handsome in your class. It's just a joke . Because at the same time, it brings out three layers of information: "you are not handsome, others are uglier, so you are the most handsome." the savvy can get the mystery. 💡 Oh, I see, the daughter said, "if there are all girls in the class, a boy was put in , this sentence is also logical. As long as we are good at jumping out of the overall situation (discovering new subjects), we can jump out of the original binary distinction of

The son said, "today is the children's day. Take me to the park." Father said, "Yikes! Today is the first day of the sixth lunar month. The International Children's Day is based on the Western Gregorian calendar." The son asked, "why is there a difference between them? If we all go to the park today, will it be another children's day ?" 💡 This story shows: All truths were created through our hearts. To bridge the two asynchronous processes, we must first see the common protagonist between them. For example, in order to replace the international status of the US

My friend asked, "why don't you tie a leash when you walk the dog?" The neighbor answered, "Don't worry. It's as good as your child. It doesn't bite.". My friend said, "this is the law.". The neighbor said, "when your child is admitted to college, do you still go to cook and wash clothes with him? If we want our children to be independent, we have to let them go first'. 💡 This story shows that Sophists are often good at using another system to justify themselves. In a talk show, if you are good at developing absurd deduction under the correct framework, th

A joke about human nature in gym🏃♀️🏃 "I`ve signed up for a gym membership.I will continue to exercise every week in the future," the child said. "Are you crazy? " said the father."There are exercise bikes and dumbbells at home. Why do you pay to go to the gym? Are you fantasizing about having an affair? " "you barely know that",The child said, "If I don't spend a lot of money, I don't think it's a waste not to keep exercising.I can't restrain myself at home, and I have no passion." 💡This story shows that to make "priceless ser

A joke about queue-jumper🗼 The child said, "I've finished reading the new book.". Father said: "Amazing! I just bought this book yesterday. You finished reading it in one day? How did you do it?" The child said, "I went to the bank and join the queue this morning. Originally, there were only a few people in front of me, but later some people jumped the queue one after another. Fortunately, I brought the new book with me. After reading it for a few hours, it happened to be my turn." 💡This story shows: the spirit of driving the nail is good at inserting new pr

<A joke of cognitive thinking>👀 The child said, "I unable to buy barbecued pork.". The father asked, "You've been out shopping for an hour. Why not do it ?" "I was in the wrong line",The child complained,"I spent an hour in the line in front of the barbecue shop,and finally found out that the line went to the public toilet next door". 💡This story shows that： (1) Things with the same appearance may not belong to the same source. (2) It is easy to create enlightening jokes or talk shows by discovering the possibility of "Unexpected resul

A joke of "The truth seems simple" The child said, "Woo,a big trouble! The teacher asked me to give a performance at the graduation I can't sing or can I do it? Dad said, "let me teach you Taijiquan. If you memorize this formula, you can learn it in a few minutes: Cut a watermelon in half…half for you and half for him,…take it back when finishes eating... " This story shows that: Language of straight dimension can be used to analogy illustrates the things with complex dimensions. And let the imitator's appearance keep up with the laws of nature. The ability to disc

能推荐一些clean英语笑话吗？

要求中英文对照，中国人看了不会笑，但英美人看了会大笑，并跪求指出笑点，谢啦

Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. 母亲:约翰尼，我今天早上在橱子里放了两块点心。现在就剩下一块了。 Can you explain that? Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other. 你能解释一下吗? 约翰尼:嗯，我想是因为里面太黑了，我没注意到另外那块。

A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, "Five beers please

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慢更，随便玩玩 这里白墨，你好 I think i will write very slowly I am Bai Mo How do you do

I asked myself how to handle life? My room gave me the answer: Roof said: Aim high. Fan said: Be cool. Clock said: Value time. Calendar said: Be up-to-date. Wallet said: Save now for the future. Mirror said: Always observe yourself. Wall said: Share others' load. Window said: Expand the vision. Floor said: Always be down to Earth. Stairs Said: Watch each step you take. The most inspiring one: Toilet bowl said: When it's time to let go, just let it go....... And the toilet paper said: Expect shit every day!

大家说说看！

http://www.zvbsw.cn

A:How ‘bout we try my new “snuff ball” pitch?A:试试我新的必杀球怎么样？ B: What’s that? B:怎么做的？ A: First, I remove “a pinch” from between my cheek and my gums… A:首先，先把球放在我的脸颊和牙齿中间······ ······ B: That’s enough, I don’t wanna hear the rest B:够了，饿哦不想听后面的了。

如题！ 如果有任何英语问题可以随时问我！ 照片截图都OK！ 只要是英语问必答！ (微信号：ienglish360)

Gilliardi arrived in the United States and after a few weeks found he had great need of a woman. Hetried flirting with a few at a nearby bar but was unsuccessful because he spoke very little English. Finallyone night he picked up a streetwalker andshe took him to her apartment. They were in bed making violentlove when suddenly Gilliardi realized that he had not spoken a single word to her."Miss-a," he said, "I come-a from-a the other side.""Oh?" said the girl. "This I gotta see!

我来出题你来答吧 答案最后贴出

这么多年英语,突然发现一个有趣现象: clever       聪明的 honest       诚实的 intelligent 智慧的 noble        高贵的 excellent    卓越的 smart        机灵的 elegant      优雅的 把以上这些英文字的头一个字母 放一起就是：Chinese---中国人 junk         垃圾 adult        色鬼 prostitute 婊子 ass&n

A Man of Actions A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening！” A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions！” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him！” said another. Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?” He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er&#x2022;&#x2022;&#x2022;er&#x2022;&#x2022;&#x2022;Miss Rose, er&#x2022;&#x2022;&#x202

？？？？？？？？？

人活着为了什么呢？during this period in which a person with your family will also need for speed up in my opinion on this page bookmark !

人活着为了什么呢？during this period in which a person with your family will also need for speed up in my opinion on this page bookmark !

人活着为了什么呢？during this period in which a person with your family will also need for speed up in my opinion on this page bookmark !

人活着为了什么呢？during this period in which a person with your family will also need for speed up in my opinion on this page bookmark !

人活着为了什么呢？during this period in which a person with your family will also need for speed up in my opinion on this page bookmark !

A preacher, completing a temperance sermon, spoke with great fervor! “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d throw it all into the river.” With greater emphasis, he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d throw it all into the river.” And finally he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d throw it all into the river, too!” As he took his chair, the song leader stood and announced with a smile, “For our closing hymn, let us sing number 365:” “Shall We Gather at the River.”

Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress drycleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, “Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.” “Good,” my dad quickly replied. “Wash it again!”

女朋友的老师要求要5个500字左右的英语笑话，但是搜遍了百度也没有超过100字的英语笑话啊！！希望哪位好心的大神如果有的话可以给我，拜谢！！！！！！！

　　A smart housewife A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!" 　　精明的家庭主妇 　　一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了！一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗？

急求英文版的鹦鹉笑话

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英语单词不要太有难度的，谢了！

我是初一水平，要笑点高一些的，最好有汉译，还有像网上的那些好多都是生单词我不会啊！最好别弄网上的，是初一水平